Do any of you have those moments where you look back and wonder what the heck was I thinking?
Tonight my husband came to me for advice about the yellow and dry spots in our front yard. He wanted to know my opinion on man-territory. I felt honored and prized. I dawned my yard-heels and joined him in the crisis zone. The problem seemed simple enough our water bill was ungodly because in this summer drought we simply can not keep up with the demand of our yard in these conditions.
Upon further calculations I realized the severe drought that my state is in this summer has cost my husband and I more than two pairs of Jimmy Choo heels. Really. This problem now had my full attention.
Three facts about me you might not know about me. One, I like green grass. Two, I have a slight designer shoe fetish. Three, I cannot stand to look like an idiot
I said the first thing that came to my mind, a silly solution that I hoped would make my husband laugh, I reasoned that if we made crop circles in the dead spots that would keep the neighborhood association at bay, and the money we would save money on watering I could spend on designer shoes, it sounded like a win/win for everyone! I mean I might be able to sell photo-ops and admission and get a matching PURSE for my shoes too! It was perfect, I even plotted out a soundtrack to my plan- express yourself by Madonna.
When he didn't laugh, deep in thought I realized that I might have been insensitive to him seeing this as a real and major problem and me making light of the situation would only serve to hurt his feelings. So I had two options- one of which, must be chosen fast as I was literally in the weeds. I could sell this silly idea or admit I was kidding and look like an insensitive wife in standing in 106 degree heat and yard heels....for nothing.
As I started for the house to put my plan on paper and started to talk details with my husband.... I realized that while the brains and great heels of the operation had a good initial plan, the brawn of the plan, husband who actually knows how to operate a mower, doesn't have a creative bone in his body. My plan was unraveling quickly.... and I needed an out that wouldn't make me look like an idiot to the one man on the planet I am still trying to impress......Hey wait a minute.... Humans don't EVEN make crop circles! YES! That's it! DEFLECT!
It was only common sense, hard won out of the sheer agony of seeing my shoe plan unravel and the threat of idiotic labels that it came to me -Crop circles can't be made by people! They are really teenage aliens. Yes crop circles are graffiti and these teenagers should get a city fine for "tagging". Of course you would add a county, state, and national fine also and wallah debt solved! Think of the gang problems we could break up in other galaxies!
The look from my husband that I was from mars? Doesn't stop me from posting here on day two of my blog that while saving face has gone horribly wrong I managed to solved the national debt AND crop circle mysteries! Where is my martial credit for THAT?!
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