I quietly observe from the sand as she tosses him to and fro on the waves of emotion that come out of her. The waves are as enormous as tsunamis and you can feel the enraged energy harnessed in them from the beach.
Mother-ocean lifts him up only to rip the promises away. I watch as the wrathful surf crashes around his innocent face. He swims and swims trying to make sense of where he is and where this relentless tide is coming from. He is flailing in desperation and then fails, he tires in the surf unable to swim against the lashing any longer.
I watch from the dunes as my husband calls to him from the water’s edge like a lighthouse for a boat. The bitter ocean doesn’t allow him passage and the waves become even more complex and gaudier, in the confusion and surge the child starts to believe that it is the beach, the safe haven that is his enemy. He swims twisted and confused and looking angrily on to the beach, definitely pushing himself further out to sea. The depths erupt in a laughter that sounds like a hurricane. The wind and waves pick up and His father crumbles at the water’s edge, he can’t save him from this. The father would cut his arm off and jump in the shark infested waters but he cannot.
The child finally makes it on to the beach, every other weekend. He isn’t the same child he used to be for the salt and the surf and all the weathered storms have made their mark and he is changed. On the beach He is comforted, he is held, he is washed and cleaned, he is kept safe and fed morals and values, kind and good hearted things. He never wants to go back but yet it is time. His father, bleeding from the inside, sees as he is mercilessly called back to the tide, in mounting horror all he can do is look on as his son is swept away by the sea- innocence taken and lost, and feared lost forever.
I am in step-life. I wrote this poem to let my emotions bleed out so to speak. I think it would have been more fulfilling to have written it with a fountain ink pen, as the physical sight of seeing the ink bleed onto the paper would properly dispose of the emotions inside of me.
I am not sure if any of you that follow my blog know that I am a step mom to a great little boy who has a really rough go of life. His parents aren't able to co-parent and it really is hard to watch him be tossed around. My husband has tried everything he can to work with "the other side" and it doesn't work... The other side hates my husband more than she loves the child in this situation. I am sick over it today. I want to plead with her: what is wrong with her- let it all go, start loving the child and doing what is in his best interest.
Our system has failed. I truly believe that our court system (at least in my state) has failed to truly grasp the step life aspect that is thrown into people’s lives when a divorce happens with children. I realize some children are fine, but others are truly hurt and damaged by parents who refuse to do what is in the best interest in the child.
If you have to take a training course and then a test to drive, because they want to make sure you are responsible enough of a driver to hold a license, you should have to do the same when you get a divorce with children.
After all, in both instances people’s lives are at stake and injuries could be permanent.
That sounds dramatic doesn’t it? But it’s true. Children of biological mothers and fathers that PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) to me can be equated to the parent in a car and driving under the influence. Injuries happen, emotional damage and things a person can never forget.
I am personally watching this happen to my stepson. I am watching his situation destroy him. When we seek an attorney to remove custody we are told, the mother isn’t doing enough to have the child removed completely. We are told at best we will have 50/50 custody. In our situation having 50/50 custody would be like trying to co-parent with a rabid dog in a psychotic ward.
It is enough to make you crazy. The lies for no reason, the harmful and hateful things she "tells" her child about his own father that have ZERO ounces of truth in them. My step-son's life is not dictated by a loving mother who does what is best for her child, who sacrifices for her child and who knows what true love is and lives that out every day for her child. No. My stepson’s life is dictated by manipulation, hate, bitterness, immaturity and worst yet convenience. I shudder typing that out.
I wish I had a happy ending to this, some inspiring words to share, but the truth is, this is it.
I pray for my stepson every day and I love him the best I can when he is here. We strive to be the one consistent loving force in his life. No child deserves to be put through what he is going through and I will never be able to wrap my head around what he is put through. We feel helpless. Everything we try and do to help is all for not. You can't co-parent without one of the parents. It simply doesn't work. I am heartbroken for my stepson.
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